Bank Lawyer's Blog

Paying For The Great Wall: Let The Banks Do It

Customarily, you'd have to work harder than El Chapo's Narc-Anon sponsor to find common ground between me and the Golfer-in-Chief on any issue, but leave it to The Candidate with the Cockatoo Do to move that Sisyphean boulder up the slope and on to level ground. For all of you who've been wondering like me (and most other Americans, as well as many Mexicans) how The Orange Man plans to get Mexico to pay for The Great Wall along the Rio, he's made it clear: American financial institutions will carry his heavy water.

Under the proposal detailed on Trump’s campaign website, the Republican would rely on a section of the Patriot Act to effectively force banks and money transfer companies to determine whether a person trying to send money abroad is a legal resident of the U.S.

That section of the law was written to crack down on terrorist financing and requires banks and other financial institutions to verify the identities of people opening accounts and doing business with them.

Trump has vowed on his first day in office, he would expand that requirement to include wire transfers and require that no foreign person living in the U.S. can send money outside the country without first proving their legal status.

The businessman predicts that Mexico will agree to pay for a border wall within a matter of days to keep money flowing over the border. 

The Trump campaign has also floated increasing visa fees, cancelling visas, and establishing trade tariffs against Mexico as ways to pay for a border wall, but cutting off remittances is the centerpiece of his plan. 

Usually, the words "centerpiece" and "Trump" are used to refer to the living blonde-furred creature he wears on his cranium, the one that sometimes rears back on its hind legs and bays at the moon, Megan Kelly, or any other thing or person who displeases the the former lead singer for Devo. In this case, it refers to banks and other financial institutions, as well as other money transmitters like Western Union, doing what all federal government agencies otherwise responsible for keeping the word "legal" in "legal immigration" have failed to do since the 1930s: ferret out who's here legally and who is here on the down-low.

Naturally, banks are doing back-flips in anticipation of the expense and liability of that job, not to mention the back-breaking prospect of adding a ton or two to the already crushing compliance burden it will entail.

But banks and other financial companies say they do not want to get involved on the front lines in a contentious immigration battle, arguing there are questions about how effectively such a policy could be implemented.

“It should not be for the banking system to be the police or the immigration task force,” said one banking lobbyist. “I don’t think it should be left to banks to report that someone has come in to remit money to whatever country, and it may or may not be legal. That’s not our role.”

[...]

Banks contend that they do not have a method of establishing the legal status of a person in the U.S. A person can open an account or send money abroad simply by showing an Individual Taxpayer Identification Number, which is given out by the government to people lacking a Social Security number, including people who are in the U.S. illegally.

The banking lobbyist said Trump’s proposal is not yet being taken seriously by the industry because it is still several steps away from even beginning to look like a reality.

I assume that same lobbyist a year ago scoffed at the notion that a bloviating clown prince like The Donald could ever beat a well-funded, well-connected, "heavyweight" like The Jebster for the Republican Party's presidential nomination. Underestimating this carnival barker is a common blind spot this election season. He's like a nightmare from which you can't wake up no matter how loudly you scream. Let's take him seriously, no matter how many knots that ties in your nether regions, and make sure that he understands that any banker, even those who live in Colorado and consume mass quantities of EdiPure Raspberry Jellies, who was thinking of holding their nose and voting for him are going to vote for the Wicked Witch of the Chappaqua, or otherwise "Go Green," "Libertarian," or even "Liberace," unless he drops this harebrained scheme to build The Great wall on the backs of America's banks. In fact, bankers could get some assistance in making this point from their MSB brethren, as The Change We Were Waiting For recently noted.

“The notion that we are going to track every Western Union bit of money that is being sent to Mexico, good luck with that,” Obama told reporters. 

I amaze myself when I say this, but "Right On, Mr. President."

As the linked article points out, there are so many ways to circumvent the money transmission barrier that Trump proposes that banks, despite the money and labor it would cost them, would be about as effective in stopping money flowing from Mexican illegal immigrants in the U.S back home to Mexico as the US Border Patrol is at keeping out undocumented immigrants in the first place. In other words, it wouldn't work.

Not that reality ever stopped a megalomaniac.

The Marijuana Minefiled Continues To Claim Banks

No matter how many times commentators like this curmudgeon warn banks that decide to dip their toes in the toxic waters of banking marijuana businesses, some banks not only don't "get it," they don't get it that they don't get it. At least, they don't until the regulators whack them upside the head.

The latest slow learner is apparently Millennium Bank, a small ($73 million) bank in Des Plaines, Illinois. According to the American Banker's Kevin Wack (paid subscription required), in March 2016, that bank entered into a consent order with the FDIC and Illinois banking authorities that "a source familiar with the matter" claimed "stemmed from the bank's involvement in serving pot businesses." As consultant Steven Kemmerling notes, there is no "template" for banks serving marijuana businesses to navigate the mysterious waters of the FinCEN "guidance" issued in March 2014, which purported to give financial institutions a path to serving marijuana businesses that were engaged in state-legal, federal-illegal activities. The consent order itself does not mention marijuana, and its numerous requirements could be interpreted as an indictment that the bank in question did not have even a basic BSA program required to meet applicable law and regulation. Kemmerling anticipates additional consent orders "as regulators continue to refi9ne how to safely bank marijuana." In other words, the smoke has not yet cleared on how to break federal criminal laws without, you know, getting your writs slapped.

The fact that the consent order (found here) nowhere uses the word "marijuana" indicates that the bank regulators are not anxious to admit that they are tacitly permitting (according to the article by Mr. Wack) 301 banks to engage in activities that are literally illegal. As Alabama Law Professor Julie Anderson Hill pointed out in an excellent law review article that we discussed last year, the regulators who fudge on these activities face another potential risk.

If the Federal Reserve provided payment services to a cannabis credit co-op, the Federal Reserve and its employees would be engaging in money laundering. They might also be conspiring to manufacture and distribute marijuana, aiding and abetting the manufacture and distribution of marijuana, and acting as accessories after the fact for the manufacture and distribution of marijuana. 

When marijuana advocates ask the bank regulators for "clarification," they are praying for rain in Death Valley. What's needed is action from the US Congress, action that would make banking state-legal marijuana businesses also legal under federal law. At that point, more "clarification" on BSA procedures might actually be useful. Don't expect Congressional action this year.

Incidentally, all those banks that are chomping at the bit to get their hands on drug money might want to consider the long-term effects of legalized recreation marijuana use. Trail blazer Colorado is experiencing some kick back from being the Mile High State.

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I am giving a one-hour webinar for BankersHub on July 19 on the banking and credit union regulators' expectations for technology service agreements. You can find information here.

Pot, Meet Kettle

Since shortly after the onset of the financial meltdown and housing market collapse in 2008, a populist narrative has been that mortgage lenders and servicers have deprived defaulting borrowers of their rights by "robo-signing" documents and outright fraudulent manufacturing of note and mortgage assignments and similar practices in foreclosure actions. The narrative has a factual basis.

However, not all of the fraud may have been perpetrated by lenders. Recently, allegations have been made that at least one Florida lawyer falsified note assignments to make it appear that the notes had been assigned to a bank other than the one that initiated the foreclosure proceedings.

The allegations against Kalogianis center on promissory notes, the document in which a borrower promises to repay the lender. Promissory notes often change hands as mortgages are sold and resold. Many lenders went out of business after the housing crash. Because it was not always clear whom a borrower owed, promissory notes often were stamped with a "blank endorsement'' — whoever the promissory note was endorsed to would be legally entitled to foreclose and collect any money due.

"It's like a blank check,'' Weid­ner said.

In cases defended by Kalogianis, the companies seeking to foreclose said they filed promissory notes with blank endorsements. But at some point, the motion says, the notes in four of the cases were altered to show they had been endorsed by "Bank of New York, as trustee.''

In the fifth case, a blank endorsement was altered to show Wells Fargo had signed it, the motion says.

One company, BAC, lost its case against a Kalogianis client in 2014 when Kalogianis argued at trial that only Bank of New York could foreclose because it was the one that had endorsed the promissory note. (The case has since been reopened.)

Kalogianis denies the allegations and asserts that the lender falsified documentation and "was trying to 'turn the tables'' on him rather than lose the case."

"It is the plaintiff's own improper conduct … that should be reviewed,'' he said.

Another impediment for the lender is that there is no eyewitness who saw the alteration of the assignments, and there exists no clerk's office video which would reveal the alteration. The lender asserts that it must have been Kalogianis who altered the assignments because no other person who might have had access to the documents had a motive to falsify it. I'm not sure that's a winner. Remember, just like on "Cops," all suspects are presumed innocent until found guilty in a court of law. Moreover, if Kalogianis can prove his allegations that the lender engaged in other document fraud, then a judge could determine that any falsification of the assignments to show the Bank of New York as the assignee may just as well have been made by the lender rather than Kalogianis, perhaps as a desperate "Hail Mary" maneuver.

The Tampa Bay Times reporter does devote considerable space to recounting the colorful history of Mr. Kalogianis, including a couple of previous ethical complaints, his unsuccessful run for US Congress, and the fact that he worked his way through law school as a male stripper. So many of us worked our way through law school as strippers that I fail to see what bearing that might have on the lender's allegations.

Other than the allegations of a couple of clients of Kalogianis, both of whom alleged that the lender in their cases had "committed fraud," there is no similar recounting of the colorful past of the lender or any of its legal counsel. Perhaps they are all Carmelite nuns and monks who spent their law school years and beyond grappling with the dark night of the soul and had no time or inclination for strip bars or the US Congress, nearly identical fora in the popular imagination.

Certainly, the lender's motion in this case might be more persuasive if, as was the case with a motion brought by another foreclosing lender against Kalogianis, he was allegedly caught on camera.

This week, Bayview Loan Servicing, which is foreclosing on a Kalogianis' client on behalf of Bank of America, obtained a video of a man it says is Kalogianis looking at court files in the Pasco clerk's office. The video appears to show him removing a small object from an accordion folder, stamping a page in a court file and returning the object to the folder.

Kalogianis' attorney's defense is "nothing to see here" and "I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you."

"I can't see anything incriminating other than a lawyer doing a diligent search, going through files looking for mortgage fraud,'' Cohen said of the video. "After all, it would not be unusual to find mortgage fraud on the part of Bank of America and its legal agents in that they've already stipulated to being responsible for tampering with evidence resulting in payment of billions of dollars of fines to avoid a possible criminal prosecution.''

Cohen said that Kalogianis has won "many cases'' in which promissory notes had not been stamped or signed by any lender.

"Why in the world would he want to do something that could potentially hurt his client by putting a stamp on a note?'' Cohen asked "Simply stated, there was no need for Constantine to stamp anything to win the case.''

Forging or altering public records, including court records, can be a felony punishable by up to five years in prison.

As I have discussed many times in the past, the last point is important. Anyone, lender, borrower, or their respective counsel, who falsifies public records ought to get the book thrown at them from a criminal law perspective. Winning or losing a foreclosure case should be collateral damage. At this point, we have nothing to judge but allegations and press reports, but we'll be following this one to see what, if anything, shakes out.

Countrywide: Closed For Good

Maybe it's the fact that in another six months or so, the regime change here in the Land of the Free will lead many of the the current crop of enforcers in D.C. out the revolving door and into the loving arms of Big Law, where those wet behind the ears begin the learning curve with 15 grand a month of pocket money. Maybe it's the fact that they knew all along that they were pushing the envelope and, when called on it, they simply shrugged, smiled, and said "Ya' got me!" Whatever the reason, the U.S. Justice Department appears to be throwing in the towel several years earlier than my initial expectation, as a result of the US Second Court of Appeals decision that squashed the Justice Department's fraud claims against Bank of America that arose out of the former Countrywide Mortgage's so-called "Hustle" subprime loan program.

According to The Wall Street Journal, this week, the Justice Department sent letters to various former officers of Countrywide, including the infamous Angelo Mozilo (aka "The Tan Man"), that told them that Justice would do some justice by not filing any civil law suits against them.

Government lawyers sent letters within the past week to Mr. Mozilo and other Countrywide executives advising that the investigations against them were closed, and thanking them for their cooperation, these people said.

“We are pleased to see this investigation concluded without any further claim against Mr. Mozilo,” said his lawyer David Siegel.

I'll bet they are pleased. Mr. Siegel was sufficiently courteous to refrain from thanking the Justice Department back for providing years of legal work for defense counsel that has now resulted in the close of the investigation without criminal charges or civil lawsuits being pursued. For litigation attorneys, this is called "stroking the long ball." And, as ESPN's Sport Center loved to tell us, "Chicks dig the long ball."

To the "Occupy [Insert Venue Here]" crowd, this latest outrage will be further proof that the system is rigged in favor of fat cats and the bureaucrats who stroke them. On the other hand, those of us with actual experience in this area saw this coming years ago. From a September 22, 2009 blog post that discussed the outlook for folks like Angelo ever doing the perp walk:

Unlike the last round, when the savings and loan industry went into a tailspin, proving that CEOs and other senior executives knew about and encouraged, much less actively participated in, the fraud is tougher to prove in connection with the subprime mortgage mess. I recall a number of instances involving failed Texas thrifts in the late 1980s where there was ample evidence that thrift owners and senior executives were swapping dead horses for dead cows, making stock loans to an owner of another thrift to purchase 100% of the stock in his own S&L in return for the borrower causing his S&L to purchase a bunch of participation interests in the lender's portfolio of exquisitely ripe carcasses known as acquisition and development loans (in which the lender funded 100% of the acquisition and developments costs AND all of the interest reserve, leaving the borrower with as much equity in the collateral as a US congressperson's integrity). This time around, the CEO's and Chairman's muddy paw prints aren't stamped all over the lender's records.

"The problem is finding the executives' fingerprints on the consumer files," said Peter Henning, a law professor at Wayne State University. "Angelo Mozilo may have set the tone at Countrywide, but there is no way you're going to find his fingerprints on any of those mortgages."

Even Marg Helgenberger of CSI couldn't find enough CEO DNA in these files to make a case. I'd like to watch her try, though.

If you want to become completely bent out of shape about the relative lack of suffering inflicted on Wall Street and its cronies over their role in the meltdown, consider the fact that no one in Congress has had their wrists slapped, either. Barney Frank and Friend-of-Angelo Chris Dodd even managed to get their names emblazoned on a piece of "financial reform" legislation for all eternity, masking for future generations (who seem to have short memories in any event) the major roles those two actors played in the drama. When it comes to skating, it seems to me that most of the culprits had their blades finely honed.

Let's hope that the late British physician, Havelock Ellis, was wrong when he said “Every society has the criminals that it deserves.”

Defrauding Yourself: A New Frontier Of Legal Theory Temporarily Closed

As we discussed a few years ago, the current administration's Department of Justice has been a huge fan of FIRREA, using its civil money penalties potential to squeeze blood out of bank turnips on the theory that a bank committed a "fraud" that "affected" a federally insured financial institution, that "affected" insitution being the bank that (allegedly) "effected" the fraud. It's a useful theory that permits the DOJ to avoid having to prove anything "beyond a reasonable doubt," as would be the standard in a criminal prosecution, but only by the lesser "preponderance of the evidence" standard applicable to civil lawsuits. Using FIRREA also permits the DOJ to issue pre-filing administrative subpoenas in order to go on "fishing expeditions" (which, unlike grand jury proceedings, are not subject to secrecy protections of the law). Moreover, the statute of limitations under FIRREA is a long 10 years, so there's a nice long period of time to beat potential defendants about the head and shoulders without having to actual file a lawsuit against them and to put your evidence where your threats are: in front of a judge.

As we said in 2013, defendants have vigorously opposed the ingenious use of FIRREA.

Defendants have argued, among other things, that “affecting” a financial institution under FIRREA means harming or victimizing the financial institution, and that the financial institution itself cannot have “affected” itself where the government’s theory is that it is the perpetrator, rather than the victim, of the alleged fraud. Thus far, the DOJ has been successful at the district court level, but appellate courts have yet to weigh in on this legal theory.

Recently, a federal appeals court did weigh in and, while not deciding that this stretching of the concept of "affecting" was out of bounds, nevertheless poked the DOJ in the eye. Outrageously, the US Second Circuit Court of Appeals in New York actually overturned an award against the Bank of America on the grounds that when the claim is based on "fraud," the government actually has to introduce evidence of fraud. Imagine that!

The appeals court panel threw out a $1.27 billion penalty against Bank of America over mortgages sold by its Countrywide unit, in what had become known as the “Hustle” case a civil lawsuit that the U.S. attorney’s office in Manhattan filed against Bank of America in 2012. It alleged that a precrisis Countrywide program called Hustle had generated shoddy mortgages and then misrepresented those loans when selling them to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which had to be bailed out by the government during the financial crisis.

The panel said the jury’s findings in 2013 that the loans sold to Fannie and Freddie were below the quality that had been promised might be considered an “intentional breach of contract.” But it said those transgressions didn’t constitute fraud, overturning the jury verdict that had been a signature win for government officials widely criticized for bringing few cases tied to the 2008 crisis.

Josh Rosenkranz, who represented Ms. Mairone, said the ruling shows “this case was a massive government overreach from inception,’’ in which prosecutors “tried to take an allegation of garden variety breach of contract and turn it into a fraud with crushing and career-ending penalties.’’

[...]

“Critically, the Government presented no proof at trial that any quality guarantee was made with fraudulent intent at the time of contract execution,” the panel said. “In essence, the Government’s theory would convert every intentional or willful breach of contract…into criminal fraud.”

At a hearing in December, U.S. Appeals Judge Reena Raggi questioned whether the government was stretching the bounds of what constitutes fraud. “What you’re asking for is a major change in how we view breach,” Judge Raggi said at the hearing.

I guess the government stretched the bounds to the breaking point.

The DOJ will likely appeal the decision. The battle is also likely to last for a few more years, at least. Given the unpredictability of which clown might be chosen to run the circus this November, there is no guarantee that a change of administration would have any effect on the use of FIRREA by the DOJ to find banks defrauding themselves here, there, and everywhere "by a preponderance of the evidence." However, it's nice to see someone occasionally slap the backs of the federal government's "massively overreaching" hands.

Fourth Corner: Staying Power or Sampling The Product?

When last we checked in January on the trials and tribulations of Fourth Corner Credit Union, a state-chartered Colorado credit union formed to provide financial services to the marijuana industry, the credit union had been denied an injunction by a federal district court in Colorado to force the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City to grant the credit union a "master account." It needs that master account to gain access to the banking system. The district court judge ruled that the court was not going to compel the Fed to grant access to a credit union that would facilitate illegal money laundering under federal criminal laws (albeit an activity that is fine and dandy under Colorado law). The court also "hinted" that if it ever got to the merits of the issue of whether Colorado marijuana laws trumped federal marijuana laws, the Supremacy Clause of the US Constitution would lead the court to favor federal law.

On April 29th, the credit union appealed the district court's decision to the 10th US Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver. I have not reviewed the appellant's brief, so all I have to go on regarding the arguments to support the appeal thus far are the public statements of the credit union's spokesperson as reported in The Denver Post. Those statements don't fill me with an excess of hope that the credit union's appeal will be successful. The arguments seem to be:

• The Justice Department and FinCEN are "hypocritical" for issuing guidance that would lead banks to believe that they can successfully avoid prosecution under federal law if they follow the guidance without actually allowing them to do so.
• The government bureaucracy moves slowly, so drug money can't be laundered through the banking system and is, thus, "unsecured," and that "scares" the spokesperson.
• A decision was rendered by a Colorado district court judge that marijuana buds were covered under a general liability insurance policy, a decision that the court made clear involved solely state, not federal, law.
• The US Supreme Court declined to hear a lawsuit filed by the states of Nebraska and Oklahoma against the state of Colorado, a decision that was based solely on jurisdictional grounds, in that the alleged harm is being caused by individuals, not by a state, and, therefore, the SCOTUS does not have jurisdiction to hear the case. The attorneys general of Nebraska and Oklahoma can refile the case in federal district court.

There may be fine legal arguments made by the credit union that support its contention that the Fed must issue it a master account. If so, they are not making it into the main stream media. If all it's got is what I read in the newspaper, I'd recommend that the CU roll 'em if its got 'em, don't Bogart the joints, slap a few Cheech & Chong cd's in the boom box, and "get mellow," because the future is looking somewhat gloomy in the real world.

Then again, come November, we have absolutely no idea what kind of wild card the electorate might draw for the Oval Office. We might actually get a president and Congress that will take the Thai Stick by the lit end and burn down the barriers to a full monty of a Mary Jane-friendly society. Or, those of us who haven't rolled a joint in nearly a half century might be compelled to nestle down in the high country with a M249 SAW, a bale of concertina wire, a half-dozen claymores, plenty of bottled water and Tostitos, and several pounds of Ghost Train Haze and Blue Dream. And yes, unlike our former president and future first man, in such circumstances, we would plan to inhale.

Fourth Corner Painted Into A Corner

This past week, a federal district court judge in Colorado slapped down, hard, Fourth Corner Credit Union. In the process, the judge was equally hard on the federal government that has done a half-baked job in dealing with the problem of state-legal marijuana businesses inability to to obtain access to the nation's financial system because their activities largely remain illegal under federal criminal laws.

As regular readers may recall, Fourth Corner Credit Union is a state-chartered credit union in Colorado that was formed in 2014 by (in the lofty rhetoric of the credit union's attorneys) "ten courageous citizens" to provided banking services to the "compliant, licensed cannabis and hemp businesses and to thousands of persons, businesses and organizations that supported the legalization of marijuana." In order to effectively operate, however, Fourth Corner needed a "master account" from the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City. The FRB-KC turned down Fourth Corner's application for such an account on several the grounds, including that federal law preempts state law and that the FRB KC won't grant a master account to a financial institution that is engaged in the facilitation of illegal activities (like the laundering of the proceeds illegal drug sales). Fourth Corner sued for a mandatory injunction by the court that would compel the FRB KC to grant the master account. The district court denied the motion, dismissed (with prejudice) the credit union's complaint, and awarded the FRB KC its reasonable costs.

That had to hurt.

Although the court declared that it did not need to reach the issue of federal preemption, it observed in a footnote that "[i]t is clear, however, that Congress has the power to prohibit cultivation, distribution and use of marijuana notwithstanding compliance with state law." In other words, even though I didn't have to decide the issue, if I had, I would have upheld federal preemption of state law.

That blasted the "Supremacy Clause" of the US Constitution (Article VI, Paragraph 2)! It's so inconvenient.

In the course of its opinion, the judge blistered the backsides of federal regulators, with special emphasis on FinCEN and the US Justice Department for their "guidance" on this issue. Fourth Corner alleged that such guidance provided federal "authorization" to serve marijuana-related businesses ("MRBs"). The judge didn't buy it (anymore than I did).

The problem is, the FinCEN guidance and Cole memorandum do nothing of the sort. On the contrary, the Cole memorandum emphatically reiterates that the manufacture and distribution of marijuana violates the Controlled Substances Act, and that the Department of Justice is committed to enforcement of that Act. It directs federal prosecutors to apply certain priorities in making enforcement decisions, but it does not change the law. The FinCEN guidance acknowledges that financial transactions involving MRBs generally involve funds derived from illegal activity, and that banks must report such transactions as “suspicious activity.” It then, hypocritically in my view, simplifies the reporting requirements.

In short, these guidance documents simply suggest that prosecutors and bank regulators might “look the other way” if financial institutions don’t mind violating the law. A federal court cannot look the other way. I regard the situation as untenable and hope that it will soon be addressed and resolved by Congress."

Since next year is a presidential election year, "soon" is not likely to be prior to 2017. Until then, to repeat ourselves, any bank that serves marijuana related businesses "is playing with fire and not wearing an asbestos suit."

playing with fire and not wearing an asbestos suit. - See more at: http://www.banklawyersblog.com/3_bank_lawyers/2015/10/over-the-summer-while-i-was-downing-cold-beers-by-the-barrel-the-federal-reserve-bank-of-kansas-city-and-the-ncua-finally-ac.html#sthash.qKIhqoJx.dpuf

playing with fire and not wearing an asbestos suit. - See more at: http://www.banklawyersblog.com/3_bank_lawyers/2015/10/over-the-summer-while-i-was-downing-cold-beers-by-the-barrel-the-federal-reserve-bank-of-kansas-city-and-the-ncua-finally-ac.html#sthash.qKIhqoJx.dpuf

playing with fire and not wearing an asbestos suit. - See more at: http://www.banklawyersblog.com/3_bank_lawyers/2015/10/over-the-summer-while-i-was-downing-cold-beers-by-the-barrel-the-federal-reserve-bank-of-kansas-city-and-the-ncua-finally-ac.html#sthash.qKIhqoJx.dpuf

Clinton Promises to Fly Beyond Dodd-Frank

Hillary Clinton, in trying to out-Warren Warren, is ensuring that many bankers, of whatever stripe, will have to take a moment to ponder what a Clinton presidency might mean for the entire banking business before pushing the lever for her in November 2016. Unlike many Republican candidates, who publicly promise to roll back Dodd-Frank's more onerous provisions (regardless of private intent), Hillary promises to take Dodd-Frank to places that even its most ardent supporters have only dreamed about.

But it’s not enough simply to protect the progress we have made," Clinton wrote. "As president, I would not only veto any legislation that would weaken financial reform, but I would also fight for tough new rules, stronger enforcement and more accountability that go well beyond Dodd-Frank."

On Clinton's wish list are the usual proposals to strengthen the Volcker Rule, reimpose Glass-Steagall, break up big banks, restrain "risky" derivative trading, put Jamie Dimon in thumb screws, and force Wall Street interns to entertain donors to the Clinton Foundation at various strip clubs, she gets into the ominous "bad bankers" proposals that threaten to turn a danger of "trickle down" of big-bank regulation onto community banks into a virtual Niagra Falls.

• Extend the statute of limitations for major financial crimes to 10 years
• Require financial firms to admit wrongdoing as part of settlements 
• Increase transparency about terms of settlement and fines actually paid to the government
• Penalize executives when their firm pays a fine

She also wants the SEC and CFTC to be "independently funded," just like the CFPB. That way, behavioral psychologist and utopian intellectuals can team up to remove any checks-and-balances on the social engineering agendas of the Progressives that Hillary is courting in her bid to grab the grass crown. As King Richard and his minions have been attempting to do with the CFPB.

Her desire to insert "strong regulators" into bank regulatory agencies also bodes ill for community banks. If you love the way that for the last eight years, bank regulators have second-guessed executive decision making on a continuous basis, used regulatory power to attempt to choke off bank access to legal but politically and/or "morally" disfavored businesses, and pushed the envelope of theories like "disparate impact" to find discrimination where no one has ever found it before in order to reward favored constituencies, you'll love another eight years under the current president's "logical successor." At least she's giving you a "heads up" and not hiding the ball. Don't say you weren't warned.

Now, if the opposing party could only nominate something other than the south end of a horse traveling north to run against her. If they can find one, that is.

Funnel Accounts: Be Very Afraid

While slaving away for "The Man," alert reader John Thomas warned me that FinCEN's black ops storm troopers are hot on my trail and to run for cover before they scooped me up and waterboarded me, not for any useful information I might cough up but just for the sheer pleasure of watching me drown.

Funnel account activity was the standout trend in Suspicious Activity Report (SAR) filings in 2014, according to the latest report from the U.S. Treasury’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN).

FinCEN’s second annual SAR Stats,  published Wednesday, highlights how FinCEN uses SARs to track down criminals through their use of the financial system. It was based on SARs filed from March 1, 2012, through Dec. 31, 2014.

FinCEN defines a funnel account as an account that receives multiple cash deposits, often in amounts below the cash-reporting threshold, and from which funds are withdrawn in a different geographic area with little time between deposits and withdrawals.

According to FinCEN, funnel account activity was mentioned almost 10,000 times in SARs in 2014.The same references occurred no more than 123 times in 2012 and 2013.

While it eventually occurred to John that FinCEN had misspelled my name, I doubt that would have deterred them for long. Upon receiving that warning, I stopped the practice of making multiple cash deposits, and now make a cash deposit only when checks received total $9,999.99, which given my astoundingly low billable hourly rate and dearth of clients will mean that I am making deposits only twice a year. In addition, I have bribed FinCEN's pet goat, Elizabeth Maxine Waters-Warren, with a family concoction: funnel cake. I have thereby assured myself that any SAR with the name "funnel," "funnell," or "kevin" eventually will go the way of most SARs: into a compost heap.

Thanks for the heads up, John. You saved my bacon, or at least, my cabrito.

Dude (Does Not) Look Like A Lady

Our crack field correspondents have alerted us to a phenomenon that we hope is nipped in the bud: male bank robbers dressed as hideously ugly women.

The bank heist tactic known among criminal elements as "Dude Looks Like A Lady" (aka "The Caitlyn Jenner Option")  attempts to throw witnesses off their game (and, in some cases, off their feed) by disguising the perpetrators as members of the feminine persuasion when, as a matter of nature-over-nurture, fact-based scientific theory, the criminals actually performing the robbery lean decidedly to the masculine end of the gender spectrum. Apparently, the intent of this charade is to simultaneously strike within a witness's Orbitofrontal Cortex both his or her "Gloria Steinem" and "Norman Mailer" regions, igniting a Patriarchal vs. Matriarchal War of the Neurons that renders accurate observation, much less coherent articulation, impossible.

The game was played in connection with a particularly violent kidnapping of a young man and the subsequent robbery of a credit union in upstate New York using that man's car, in which two of the male robbers dressed as women and all of the gang was apprehended. It appears that gender confusion was not effective. Either that, or one "man" was caught and ratted out the rest. Regardless, you'd think that failure might have been enough to discourage copycats. If you did, you'd be wrong.

Police in Anne Arundel County, Maryland, say that a man “seemingly disguised as a female” was arrested for robbing a local bank.

Just before noon on October 29, police were told that the Hamilton Bank in Pasadena, MD was being robbed by an Asian woman with a knife.

During the investigation, police learned that the robber displayed the knife and demanded money. But instead of a woman, police identified the suspect as a man named Dixon Kuon Henderson, 59, of Baltimore. Henderson appeared to be dressed as a woman during the crime, police reported.

The suspect’s car was quickly located and Henderson was found inside.

Henderson was arrested and charged with armed robbery. He was being held Friday on $500,000 bail.

Dixon looks as much like a woman as the rodent who lives atop Donald Trump's noggin looks like a head of actual human hair. Whatever he is, he is not going to pass for female, ever, even in Moldova.

Was that last sentence politically incorrect? For that matter, was this entire post politically incorrect? If so, then "Mission Accomplished."