Bank Lawyer's Blog

Bankers: All Over It As It's All Over

We thought those wild and crazy Boomer Sooner Bankers had taken Gangnam Style banking to its outer limits. We were wrong.

It should come as no surprise that a tech-savvy bank from the Left Coast would be all over the latest fad, and would take the production values to Hollywood-style levels.

And yet, wouldn't you know it: just as bankers jump on the Gangnam style bandwagon, its originator decides that it's so, so yesterday, and that yesterday's gone (Gangnam style).

She's Baaaaaack!!!!

In the aftermath of last month's stalemate at the polls, I pointed out one perverse bright spot: Lizzie Warren would be a member of the US Senate and, therefore, potential blog fodder. The announcement that she's achieved her deepest longing, and been appointed to the Banking Committee, not only sent  left-wing mouthpieces like David Lazerus into orgasmic ecstasy, they've guaranteed me at least four years of unrestrained whack-a-mole bliss. As one reader emailed me, the bankers thought they'd killed her off, but she's risen from the dead to eat their eyeballs and has, thus, become: "Zombie Lizzie." So, you see, "it's all good."

Speaking of "all good," I suppose most of you have seen by now the video of the Oklahoma bank employees who were "rewarded" by management for good behavior by being permitted to make a Gangnam Style music video. For those of you who've not yet seen it, here it is:

To me, this demonstrates conclusively that when you live in the buckle of the bible belt, you simply cannot "get jiggy with it" in convincing fashion. My props to the peeps for the effort, though.

Of course, it's tough for any bankers to compete with the Gangnam Styler-In-Chief.

Warren For Sheriff? Fa Shizzle!

I'm on the road again, but have just enough time to revivify the corpse of Liz Warren's most effective tool in her campaign to make herself the first "non-acting" director of the CFPB. No, I'm not referring to Keith Olbermann, as effective a ranting wing-nut as he may be, I'm referring instead to the stylin' and profilin' bling-blingers who put down some gold-chain-encrusted, Justin boot-scootin', Boomer Sooner rap in support of the new sheriff in town, the woman who'll put Wall Street in its place with no embarrassing side trips to visit a hooker named "Kristen."

For those who might have missed this musical gem the first time around, it's never too late to celebrate the greatness of Liz in "song" as we approach her recess coronation.

Enjoy.

Stop, Look, Listen

I'm taking a break for the holidays. Blogging will be sporadic until after New Year's day.

I suppose it would be politically correct to wish everyone a Joyful Festivus, but I'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. As we used to say in my DJ days, "Catch you on the flip side."

As a parting gift, allow Thomas Merton and Andrea Bocelli to give us all a little clue about "divine inspiration."

*********************************************************************************************

What is serious to men is often very trivial in the sight of God.  What in God might appear to us as "play" is perhaps what God takes the most seriously.  At any rate the Lord plays in the garden of creation, and if we could let go of our own obsession with what we think is the meaning of it all, we might be able to hear God's call and follow in the mysterious, cosmic dance.  We do not have to go very far to catch echoes of that game, and of that dancing.  When we are alone on a starlit night; when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children; when we know love in our own hearts; or when, like the Japanese poet Basho we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash -- at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of all values, the "newness," the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance.

For the world and time are the dance of the Lord in emptiness.  The silence of the spheres is the music of a wedding feast.  The more we persist in misunderstanding the phenomena of life, the more we analyze them out into strange finalities and complex purposes of our own, the more we involve ourselves in sadness, absurdity, and despair.  But it does not matter much, because no despair of ours can alter the reality of things, or stain the joy of the cosmic dance which is always there.  Indeed, we are in the midst of it, and it is in the midst of us, for it beats in our very blood, whether we want it or not.

Yet the fact remains that we are invited to forget ourselves on purpose, cast our awful solemnity to the winds and join in the general dance.
---Thomas Merton

The New Boss Same As The Old Boss?

I'll be on vacation the rest of the week, but I wanted to leave you with a little video music entertainment to tide you over until after the Labor Day holiday. As many of you know, consumer advocacy groups have been orchestrating a campaign to try to pressure  the White House to appoint Elizabeth Warren as the director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Among the many weapons that Warrenn's supporters have rolled out is a rap video that's "gone viral" on YouTube, and which labels Warren "The New Sheriff." Following is a Bloomberg news report on the video and other aspects of the campaign.

You have to love the Left. If you oppose one of its heroes who happens to be female you're "sexist." That sure beats having to engage in logical debate based upon facts. If you dislike Sheila Bair, it's also because you're sexist (as one writer for Slate asserted). If you dislike Barney Frank, it's because you're a homophobe (as one my readers alleged in an email to me). If you dislike Maxine Waters, it's because you're not only a sexist, but a racist, as well (I haven't heard that one yet, but I'm expecting it).

I guess that makes anyone who hates me an "assophobe," and there's no lower form of animal life than one of those.

For those yearning to get a full taste of Warren's rap, here it is:

As you heard in Bloomberg's report, Professor Warren was "touched" by the video. However, she should keep in mind the last regulator that was billed as "The Sheriff" and how he went about being "touched."If she's also buying hookers, let's hope she's a bit more discreet about how she pays for them and where she transports them. The other Sheriff found himself the subject of less adoring, albeit more humorous, videos:

Barney Frank: Corporate Governance Expert

House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney ("Boy George") Frank flew off the deep end this morning when CNCB's Mark Haines challenged the basis for Frank's argument that shareholders of banks and other businesses must have a right, mandated by federal law, to set executive compensation, a matter that is currently left to boards of directors. Rather than let Haines finish his question, Frank interrupted him and, when Haines tried to finish the question over Frank's interruption, Frank accused Haines of interrupting him, erupted, and abruptly ended the interview. Rather than apologize, Haines dismissed him with a gesture that amounted to "goodbye and good riddance."

You can view the video of the brief exchange yourself and decide whether Barney's hissy fit was justified or not.

As The Deal.com's Maria Woehr observed, the interesting question is why Frank bothered to answer the other questions posed by Haines and two other reporters, but threw a tantrum over the final question. My guess, which is only a guess, is that Frank was irritated and under the gun because he was late to a filming session of a music video of his latest hit record (currently number 6 "with a bullet" on Billboard's "Adult Contemporary" chart), "Banking Queen." It's obvious that the video was put together in a hurry. Nevertheless, whatever defects might mar the images, there is no denying the power of Frank's wispy, lispy song stylings, nor the raw power of the lyrics.

Oooooooo

Oooooooooo

You can build.

You can buy.

Any house your heart desires.

Oo zero down.

Financing.

I am the banking queen.

Friday night and your cash is low.

I know a place that you can go.

Oh, get your house and use it.

Go ahead abuse it.

You can do anything.

Go out and have a fling.

I am the banking queen.

Old and sweet didn’t do a thing.

Banking queen.

Don’t complain or you’ll hear me scream oh yeah.

You can build.

You can buy.

Any house your heart desires.

Oo zero down.

Financing.

I am the banking queen.

Told the bankers hey you guys.

Make the loans or it’s your behind.

My friends at Fannie sure need it.

Do it my way or beat it.

Why are the stocks crashing?

That doesn’t mean a thing.

I’m still the banking queen.

Never spanked for a single thing.

Banking queen.

Don’t complain or you’ll hear me scream oh yeah.

You can build.

You can buy.

Any house your heart desires.

Oo, zero down

Financing

I am the banking queen.

Oooooooo I am the banking queen.

Oooooooo

What's Good For The Sharks Is Good For America

A couple of weeks ago, I said that I thought the plaintiffs' attorneys in the recently settled class action litigation against the Veterans Administration over the theft of a lap top computer would "make millions." Yesterday, The Washington Post reported that the "millions" assumption was indeed correct.

Under the $20 million deal, lawyers for the veterans will receive up to $5.5 million for fees and costs, while roughly $1.4 million will be spent to notify millions of veterans and provide information about the settlement via advertisements in newspapers, magazines and a toll-free hot line.

As you'll recall, each veteran who can prove that he or she has "incurred out of pocket expenses for credit monitoring or physical symptoms of emotional distress," will receive between $75 and $1500. I've asked it before and I'll ask it again: Is this a great country, or what?

In yet one more sign that this nation of the lawyers, by the lawyers, and for the lawyers shall not perish from the earth (as long as one lawyer and one solvent defendant remain), The Memphis Business Journal recently ran a piece detailing that though the TARP program may be a bust in terms of goosing the economy, it's been a godsend for the formation of "special practice groups" by law firms.

Securities Docket, an online trade journal for the securities industry, has tracked the proliferation of financial crisis practice groups and task forces since the fall. To date, the self-regulated list has grown to 32 national law firms. No Memphis law firms are represented.

Dude! If you're walkin' in Memphis, walkin' with your feet ten feet off of Beale, if you're walkin' in Memphis, and you don't know if you really feel the way you feel, then it's probably because you haven't created a financial crisis practice group. Get you one of those bad boys and you'll know how you really feel. You'll be feelin' like singing Hallelujah!

We've been a big fan of special practice groups, linked first to subprime and now to the bailout, for some time now. Every law firm should have one. In fact, when private capital finally heeds Treasury's siren call and comes pouring in to buy up "distressed assets," we look forward to the first "Bottom Feeders Feeding Frenzy Practice Group" bursting forth from a giant law firm like Athena from the head of Zeus.

Blue-Eyed Soul Raps The Bailout

Reader Gregg Somerville, a stockbroker, sent me a link to his "rapumentary" ripping Hank Paulson. It may be a few months behind the curve at this point, but it remains hilarious. The line about Richard Fuld being the only guy who ever lost calling Paulson's bluff is a classic.

I mean, we have to laugh at this stuff, right? It's either that or launch into a 'roid rage and rip the hearts out of every jerk in our nation's capital.

Peace. Out.

Pause...Then Resume

I'm taking a break for the holidays. Even snark, second-guessing, and general insensitivity needs to be renewed during this time of year. Perhaps I'll return next year with an inviting, open, accepting, post-modern personality, and revel in the diversity of opposing views with a hearty, back-slapping bonhomie and goodwill toward all.

Or, maybe not.

In a gesture totally out of character for the author of this blog, let me offer you, the regular or occasional reader (or the unlucky soul who stumbles across this intellectual wasteland purely by accident), regardless of your faith or lack thereof, a few minutes of peace from those concerns of our everyday lives that we seem to think are so very, very important. Put on the earphones, sit back in your chair, close your eyes, and simply take a few minutes to be still with the music.

Or, if you prefer, outclick to the next blog of your choice.

Regardless, have a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanuka, Fabulous Festivus, or whatever celebration otherwise floats your boat. I'll see you on the other side.

In The Bleak Midwinter, performed by the Glouster Cathedral Choir