Our never-ending quest to bring bankers the most current bank-related news often goes under-appreciated by many in the intended audience. Disgruntled compliance drones who desire this blog's author to throw them a bone they can gnaw on until they crack it and suck down the sweet marrow; white-belted, white-shoed retail banking salesmen who desire that I open the door on the path to riches beyond all dreams of Croesus; a Gen Y young dope on punk (or was that a young punk on dope?) whose daddy made him CEO of his very own (actually, Dad's very own) home building company who wants me to serve him a free lunch and give him money for nothing and his chicks for free: all these, and many, many more current, former, and soon-to-be-former readers daily flip me the bird in their rear-view mirror as they "unsubscribe" with extreme prejudice because I either offend their refined sensibilities or--much, much worse--my content "is no longer relevant."
Inasmuch as I spend, literally, several nanoseconds each evening blowing blog posts out of my nether regions carefully crafting each and ever syllable you read on these pristine pages, these criticisms hit home in a way that, for example, a client refusing to pay a monthly invoice would never do. Therefor, in an attempt to reach even my most demanding readers, I offer this evening a story that will resonate with each and every human being, whether bound tightly or only loosely tethered to the world of commercial banking. This is a story as old as the internet and as timeless as Instacam. This is the story of the egg-sucking selfie.
A woman from West Frankfort, Ill. made police work easy when she allegedly stole a colorful, leopard-pattern dress from a small boutique, then posted a picture of herself wearing it on Facebook, police said on Monday.
Danielle Saxton, 27, allegedly took a dress and other items from Morties Boutique on July 11, and was spotted walking away from the store by the owner's son, said owner Gay Williams Morton and police.
The store described the stolen items on Facebook. News travels fast in the small southern Illinois town, and within about two hours, someone sent a link to Saxton's Facebook post, where she'd posted a "selfie" with the message "Love my dress," Morton said.
Saxton was charged with theft and with failure to appear in court on a warrant in another case, according to West Frankfort Police Dispatch Supervisor John Hampton. He did not know the charge in the earlier case.
The article also reports that Saxton has an unlisted phone number. I guess she was trying to lay low and fly under the radar screen.
There's a valuable lesson for every banker and those who covet their goods and wives: "Stupid is as stupid does" and no matter how dumb you think bank robbers are, they are apparently comparative Einstein's in comparison to dress shop thieves.
Don't ever tell me again that the content of this blog is no longer relevant. Hear me now and believe me later: it has NEVER been relevant.
With luck, it never will be.
From now on, the only leopard-pattern dress we want to see on these pages is one that encases Sofia Vegara.