Seriously Absurd

Our desire to push a proposal to permit community banks to use a 10-year amortization schedule for commercial real estate losses overrode our desire last Thursday evening to post the latest example of Bank of America's mistaken seizing of the wrong house in a foreclosure-mad world and confiscating the homeowner's pet parrot, "Luke." We let public policy trump the low-hanging fruit of snarkiness, for which we sincerely apologize. Fortunately, Kevin LaCroix of D&O Diary fame was on the case and cut through all the white noise to the essential Monty Pythonesque essence of the story.

This momentous story was deemed by the Journal’s editors to be worthy of a front page photograph of the homeowner, now fortunately reunited with her beloved parrot.

 We mention this because, as was pointed out to us by a loyal reader, the Journal’s front page above- the- fold color photograph was headlined with the phrase "Hello, I Wish to Register a Complaint." We suspect that the Journal’s editors ran the picture on the front page for the sole reason that it gave them an excuse to use that headline.

 If the topic is parrots, the only possible reference is to the immortal Monty Python dead parrot sketch, which believe it or not has its own Wikipedia page, here. The skit begins with John Cleese entering a pet shop and stating (as reflected in this script of the sketch) "Hello, I wish to register a complaint." Cleese’s problem in the sketch is not that his parrot has been confiscated; rather, his problem is that the parrot he had just purchased is dead. Deceased. It is no more. It has ceased to exist. It has joined the choir celestial. This is an ex-parrot

 We are delighted to have this pretext to be able to embed a video of the sketch below. Because we think everyone should know a dead parrot when they see one.

Visit Kevin's post, click on the embedded video, and bask in the glow of the sunlight that shines on those of us who realize that we're living and working in the theater of the absurd, otherwise known as commercial banking in the 21st century.

For those of you who appreciate Kevin's insights on director and officer liability issues, you can join Kevin and Venable LLP partner John Zink for a webinar this Thursday, March 18, from 11 am to noon Central time on the topic "Here Today -- Gone Tomorrow: Making your fidelity bond and D&O Insurance stick in troubled times." That's a topic that is, unfortunately, no laughing matter for many banks and thrifts.